Blog in the dark and outside

April 23rd 2011

I just feel like this is a perfect place and a perfect moment to blog even though it's going to be completely pitch black within minutes of the day passing by. But what's weird is I don't have anything to blog about really. Nothing that catches my mind.

I'm sitting on this chair swing which is super cool and I just love how comfortable it is and it's outside! (Joey just finished building it together that's why I'm so excited.) and it's in front of my pool and the view of trees swaying with the wind with the sunset slowly moving away behind it... uh orgasm. haha I'm jk. Oh and plus we have these fountain rock things that turn on and just looks like fountain rock things. I'm surprised that there are not any mosquitos coming after my blood right now. I just wish that someone was here sitting besides me. enjoying this.... at the moment darkness... haha. Okay it was prettier earlier. I swear. ;p I should probably head inside there's an insect on my computer screen and it's currently climbing towards the words and letter that i'm typing... and it's getting super dark...

Au Revoir!

Claire.

Title: Blog in the dark and outside.

The many reasons of why I sometimes fail. I can't even give a title to this blog.

April 22nd 2011

When your parents tell you to not grow up too fast listen to them. It's probably one of the best advice you'd get from them. When people get older and they look back knowing that they didn't really have a childhood they regret it and they would kill to have it back. When your parents get all paranoid about you dating or getting really I don't know parental about who you are with and stuff, don't worry they're just trying to watch out for you they're scared of you getting hurt. They have that love for you that makes them do the things they do. I as well have made mistakes in my life, mistakes I can't take back but instead have given me the opportunity to better my future. (geeze I've felt like I've written that so many times in my previous blogs) I'm no expert on life. I'm just a girl who has lived. A tiny speck in the universe that is living, breathing, and walking on this bigger speck in the universe Earth.

So live your life the way you feel is right within you. Stay true to who you are. Remember you are loved one way or another.

I feel like I just bull-crapped this whole thing right now for some deranged reason I do. But w.e. I just really needed to blog.

Au Revoir.

Claire.

Title: The many reason of why I sometimes fail. I can't even give a title to this blog.

At the end of the day

April 14th 2011

At the end of the day I know the people who truly matter to me. Who I truly care for. Who I truly love. I know who will be there for me even when it seems like no one is there for me... I know that they care for me too. I truly appreciate that. Sometimes I feel like this is the way it's suppose to be. I am free. Free to be who I am. The people who truly love me for all I am accept that and love me no matter what I am.

At the end of the day I think that I sleep better thinking that those people are there for me. I can fall asleep thinking about them, knowing they are in their beds too safe and warm. If they're not? Well I pray for their safety and comfort.

At the end of the day I leave my regrets behind. What's done is done. There's nothing you can erase. What I can do is look towards a bright future. Begin a fresh renewed start at this precious life that I was given.

At the end of the day I know I am beautiful, because of the people that love me for who I am without all the superficial things. I am most comfortable at my most natural, I feel beautiful when I am my most natural.

At the end of the day I could care less what people say that may be hurtful because I know I've already punched them in the face... (in my mind... okay sometimes forreal... lol)

At the end of the day I get to talk to that special person that means more to me than a lot of things. The only person that will be able to talk me to sleep.

At the end of the day I think about when it will the end, what the future will be like, sometimes I wish I were dead but no big deal. Death is but a slumber.

Think that's it. Ran out of things to say in the middle of it. Maybe you could caught that... lol.

Au Revoir.

-Claire.

Title: At the end of the day

Permanent dissatisfaction and a Blogger's crisis

April 8th 2011

I think when it comes down to the end of the day you are true to yourself. You are yourself. You are what you are and should be honest with yourself and others. Lately I haven't quiet been able to blog correctly. Not that there's any sort of format you should follow but I just wasn't feeling it you know? My strongest asset currently is English and Literature. But English and Literature are so so so formatted that it makes it sometimes not enjoyable to do. I was assigned to do a Lord of the Flies Essay and it has to be in MLA formatting. MLA formatting is not my best friend... okay I'm not here to really talk about how I have to do this essay. (or I fail english if I don't do it, it's a progress assessment that I'm forced to do worth 125 points) Lately I've been SUPER UBERLY (if I may) busy with school. Not only that it's just as I said not feeling what I was trying to blog... or when I was trying to blog. I just went through this phase where nothing that came to mind felt right writing it down. Does that make sense? I felt like it was a blogger crises or something! LOL. Okay I just found the title of my blog. :)

As I eat this bowl of deliciously enticing and savory spaghetti (with a cup of green tea, some puto, and a simple bottle of water on the side, oh and three slices of orange wedges too) I have come to realize that I was in a blogger crises?! alright so, the thing is just couldn't write! I just felt like whatever I typed on to this note was crap! I felt like it was not good enough. But a quote stating, "I'm never content with what I do, I live in a sort of permanent dissatisfaction... I think that's the secret to doing things well." -Karl Lagerfeld. Who is btw a superb designer. When I first saw him in a magazine I thought he was made of plastic. By the way he looked. I don't even know why I thought that. LOL. But anyways. I'm always thinking that my work is not enough. Like the other day I got back my quiz/essay I had to do and I thought I did horribly or not enough on it and I ended up getting full credit/100% on it. (Cause Claire is such a NERD) So basically I strive for (near) perfection. ;)

I think that's that. and I feel a bit of a revision for the title.

Au Revoir

-Claire

Title: Permanent dissatisfaction and a Blogger's crisis

Individualism and Inspiration

March 5th 2011

I really dislike waking up not in a good mood. Which fits the phrase "waking up on the wrong side of the bed." Cause it seems every single time I wake up from a nap that's suppose to make me feel better it doesn't... Which is the downside of it. *sigh... today is suppose to be friday a good day... but it's not exactly going as well I imagined it would be.

But anyways. I would just like to talk about Individualism and Inspiration.

Individual (n) -
1. a single human being, as distinguished from a group.
2. a person: a strange individual.
3. a distinct, indivisible entity; a single thing, being, instance, or item.
(http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/individual)

Inspiration (n) -
1. stimulation or arousal of the mind, feelings, etc, to special orunusual activity or creativity
2. the state or quality of being so stimulated or aroused
3. someone or something that causes this state
4. an idea or action resulting from such a state
(http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Inspiration)

I love individualist. They're unique. Some talented, wise, and sophisticated. I just love how their sense of style just immediately tells of that person. Personality wise they just have this cool no worries, yet cautious in a sense. I think it's quiet beautiful, to just be yourself and have no one around you to be exactly the same. That's how I try to be in life because no one likes a bunch of copies of a person cause it's just really boring. Be creative, be intuitive. As I've said in a previous blog. When you find you're in a situation where you're falling into a carbon copy, catch yourself before it becomes carbon copy. (a little rephrased but oh well) I just enjoy when people express who they truly are and not what their peers do or say. I admit in the past I've probably had some moments where I would be similarly like my friends. But something always told me that it didn't seem right. That's right my conscience. ( <- Con SCIENCE?! yeah just noticed that...) Why am I rambling on about being yourself and being an individual? It's because it feels right. I think I'll let it be there before I ramble on too much...

Now come along inspiration. Inspiration really come from being an individuals. Individualist inspire people, another individual, and or the world sometimes. Creativity of an individual feeds the hungry inspiration. When you do something that's great maybe even fantastic and that comes from individualism then you're doing the right thing. It's just a sense of having that feeling of just helping out for the greater good. Okay when I said individualist you're not to be confused with self centered or selfish. Individuals that have ideas and that have these great philosophies that could further more have a major impact with how the world works... Like recently in english I've read about Thomas Hobbes and John Locke. They're are two individuals and they have this philosophy and it just blossomed inspiration and changed the way how government performs and operates.

I think that's it for now I'm really hungry I started writing this last night but didn't exactly finish. It's morning now and I've just woken up. What I great way to start the morning. Well I hope you guys have a fantastic weekend. I sure hope that I do as well.

-Claire.

Title: Individualism and Inspiration

The "Ideal Perfection" Image

March 3rd 2011

People. In their right minds, are not expected to be perfect. So why does perfection to be strived for? This goes for the males and the females out there. Some people just strive for that perfection that is not there, that they sometimes forget who they really are, what they really are. Perfectionism in the human race is has not been reached nor will it ever be reached. It is de facto. Media and Advertisement depicting the image of "perfection" is not a reality. Just because there are models that are skinny and models that look "flawless". Those are all a mirage done so that you will believe that you need things that you don't actually need. Like for example make-up. Yeah I admit to wearing make-up. But really ask yourself... Do you really need it? I've slowly become to realize... no one really needs it. It's not a necessity. Even its name "make-up" refers to making up something... or more accurately making up an image that is not actually true. Yeah I can understand theatre or artistic make-up and just wanting to enhance your natural beauty (which everyone has no doubt) but caking on make-up that's not on a special occasion or if you have clear skin is a big big big no no. I have so much respect for those girls who don't wear make-up or who don't need to wear make-up and continue to not wear make-up. These girls are beautiful. But more so...

Inner beauty consists of personality, attitude, and your overall persona, or how you choose to display yourself to the world and environment around you. Those people that just give off this natural aura of goodness and well being. Kind and a welcoming type of personality. That's really something. You don't show personality on your face... though you make express emotions and body language but it's what on the inside that really counts. Mind you that I have not always been nice. I have my mean moments and moments where I felt stupid for saying things I knew I probably shouldn't have. But it's alright. Everyone will make mistakes even how it reflects you as a person. But just know that you forgive and you forget... (not completely but just set it aside in a shed in your memories that should be forgotten but not quiet yet disposed of at the moment type of way... haha)

Writing this blog is like so riveting and like a breath of fresh air. You know I've never seen an advertisement or media depicting this sort of demeanor. I would like to see one do so... without trying to sell me anything in particular. haha.

I hoped you liked this and this kind of feels different from my regular blogs.

I love you my readers... who ever you maybe. :)

-Claire.

Title: The "Ideal Perfection" Image

For once a happy way to end the week

Feb. 25 2011

So I'd thought I'd write a blog seeing as I haven't quiet exactly written one in a while now. Today is one of those fridays where everyone seems or most people seem to be in a really great mood. This girl in my class whom I know totally gave me a kiss on the cheek today cause she was such in a good mood. (No Joke)

I've had such a fun time filming I kind of want to do it everyday... if I only had time. It seems only since yesterday I made a really strange vlog type thing? A recording of me and my best friend (Nishat <3) talking on the phone during the summer of 09. Oh man and two years later I'm right smack dab in the middle of the desert. Where I least expect it. I still wonder how I got here. Or why people would like this place. But I'm slowly adjusting every day still wishing I was back home to the windy town of Chicago. *sigh

At the moment for once... I no longer ponder on the past like which is a on going pattern in my previous blogs but ahead towards the future. Which is really a good thing. :) I think that people should see ahead instead of looking back. It's a lot healthier unless your past is haunting you or something then you have something to work on there.

I will be spending some time or more like all of the weekend with my boyfriend. :) Which I am looking forward to. <3

That's all I really have to say. I took this little break from cleaning to let you all know I'm alive well. Living simply and adoring it.

I'm going to be cooking my own chinese pork bbq tonight. mmm. It's not exactly "home made" cause the marinade is from a packet we got at our local oriental store but I guess it's semi-home made. :)

Title: For once a happy way to end the week

Take care
and
If you have a fat cat squeeze it as much as you can.
(It's a stress reliever.)
LOL I'm jk but my cat is cute so I always have to squeeze it!
deep deep inside I know my cat loves being squeezed...

-Claire

Homesick

January 3rd 2011

Today I just felt emotional because of my aunt flow it just made it worse I'm guessing. I'm not exactly what you call a hot mess. But I'm not exactly in the most vibrant mood. Physically speaking I felt detached to the world sometimes, sometimes or actually all the time I feel like nobody listens sometimes. Like people don't give me undivided attention. No, I'm not an attention whore, I just don't like to speak and then no one will listen. That's why I'm pretty much mime most of the time. I'm serious, I've grown a lot quieter especially, especially when I moved here to the desert.

I'm really home sick and I can't help but just express myself and how I feel at the moment. I could be hanging out with Nishat right now... well not exactly right now but if we were to sleep over or something. I just miss being where I finally felt the most comfortable. It was back at home, Chicago. I don't know why anyone would even think of moving over here in the first place. Yeah I am thankful for what I have but the living environment I'm in right now I'm not so happy about, it makes me sound a bit selfish.

I just feel lost like I don't exactly have anywhere or anyone to really go to. I'm not going to lie but there are a lot of fake people out here. It's extremely irritating when I have to be around these certain people. I don't tend to make friends out here much because I'm really not open to anyone in Arizona. I think maybe in general I'm not, not as much as I use to be. Okay maybe just not people here in AZ. But if you're talking about a Midwesterner then I'm down.

I just had to let this out and about. Title: Homesick.

Oh yeah I don't title my blogs til the end now. I just want to get out everything that I wanted to before I title it anything.

I really wanted to talk about also adults and how some don't understand the generation and why they post everything that might be on their minds or what they're doing... have they ever checked the question it asked you before you post a status on facebook? mums and dads of various teenagers probably have failed to see the question " What are you thinking about? " or " What are you doing? "

Another really annoying thing I have encountered is this. I don't like how people underestimate me or already know my character quote on quote because of just looking at me. I don't know if I explained that right... I probably didn't but something along the lines of that I'm done blogging my brain needs some rest.

Til next time. I guess.

When I thought I wouldn't get sick

December 12th, 2010

Nope not one of my funny stories but I'll add in some funny memories out of the whole week if I can that is. :)
As I sit here eating my super healthy meal consisting of sauteed sweet potatoes, sauteed tofu, sauteed eggplant with soy sauce and caramelized onion, tasty ginger chicken breast, and brown rice. Along with what has become my usual green tea with honey.

So I've been sick for a total of 2 weeks and the last few days I was trying to fight off my sickness was really bad. I swear I haven't been sick for like 2 years and when I get sick... I get really sick. It's not really specified but the doctor thought I had the flu but I think it was totally different but the prescribed medicine did work though who knows.

I missed a test that was suppose to be really big but I'm sure I can make it up tomorrow when I return to school and what's funny is on the thursday I missed school and was sick with an upper respiratory type "flu". I adopted a cat from the Arizona Humane Society named Cookie (if you didn't already know from my couple of statuses) a 2 year 7 month old, domestic short haired kitty who is black and white with the most cutest green eyes I've ever seen. She's a little chubby but not over weight, has a round face and she's the most sweetest cat I've ever encountered. I've always wanted a cat of my own and now I have one. :)

I'm sorry if I'm boring you cause this blog is kind of boring. Explanation? Well I'm not sick anymore, but but but I do tend be fatigued even after I've gotten well so I've been drinking coffee and tea to some what counteract that effect.

I seriously didn't think I would get sick I'm probably the biggest health freak you'll ever encounter. I mean yeah I still occasionally eat "junk food" like fries (mmm I love fries), and my favorite chips, and stuff like that. But in moderation that is. I never drink soda anymore (but I had to drink ginger ale to help sooth my throat when I didn't feel like drinking salabat [ginger juice]). I don't eat processed food really cause it's so horrible for you. I try to eat more lean meat and I rarely eat beef anymore. But yeah I think that's all I'm going to rant about my eating habits.

I felt like I needed to blog cause I've been pretty much sleeping this whole week and have been deprived.

Ugh sucky blog but w.e.

Bye. ;p

Embarrassing moments and hurtful shoes

December 4th 2010

This week has been freaking crazy crazy crazy. But okay I guess. I'm not in much of a bloggity blog mood right now. I'm more in a fighting and suffering from a cold and trying to break any cleaning tools and/or cleaning products because I'm so uncoordinated at the moment type of mood. Yeah I know right. So freaking long Claire. teehee.

Monday and or Tuesday I contracted a cold from being really surprisingly unexpectedly cold in the morning to warm enough to sweat a bit underneath all the layers you've covered yourself with in the afternoon. Then I went home took a nap and when I woke my throat felt scratchy and really really uncomfortable... So I would just like to say this... CURSE YOU ARIZONA. YOU CAN SINK ALONG WITH CALIFORNIA AND MAKE A BEACH FOR NEW MEXICO IF YOU BELIEVE THAT ONE THEORY I HEARD... yeah... um.

So this whole week I kind of had a hard time getting up and getting ready and most of all EATING. Which really sucks seeing that I had to cook 2 times this week in cooking class and the food was good... except the fact that the food felt like it was scraping raw a layer of flesh on my throat. Everything I ate felt that way and it just itched 24/7 and I wanted to cough as much as I wanted to go home and nap and intake a bag of cough drops.

The good news about this week though is that I got most of my black friday shopping stuff (online) which I'm really happy about. :)

Well this is all that I wanted to share and not bore you too much about my life whoever is reading this.

BOOYA.
-Claire.

P.S. the new/not so new facebook notes format really does help. :) <- I can bold my smileys.-> :D psha you got nothing on my smileys. &^%%$#&#^#$$$! HA.

p.s.s the title isn't even relevant to the topic of the blog... FAYUL.