Thanksgiving 2010

As I sit here sipping on my green tea with honey which has become my favorite. (This is not going to be a long rant like I usually publish but it's okay it gets to the point.)I reminisce and think about all the thinks that I am thankful for.

Not all is perfect but we should all be thankful for everything in our lives.For we have been given a chance at life which is rare in the first place.I am appreciative for what I have. To have and to hold and cherish.
That I still have good health, a loving family, and friends that care about me. Most importantly I am thankful I am still an active and strong member of the INC.Though many hardships and trials have come in life.I never back down from going to WS or praying. I am thankful to still have a right to serve GOD and our Lord Jesus Christ.

Not all have it as good as I and some have it way worse.

I have a warm place to stay and food to eat and clothes on my back.

Some don't have anything but there lives slowly withering away.

We should not be thankful for just this one day.

Instead we should be thankful every day for what we have.

Take a look at the world, put yourself in other people's shoes.

You would realize how much you have compared to a lot of people.

I am thankful 24/7 and so should you.

Have a great Thanksgiving day.

BTW:
Please cook your turkey all the way.
(internal temperature should be 165 degrees F)
Store leftovers in the fridge right away.
Eat the leftovers within 2-3 days.
These are just some tips to avoid contracting a food borne illness,
you can read more articles online to find more tips.

Oh and thank you. :)

-Claire

The most useless blog I've ever written

I sit here with a mug full of honey green tea and I think to myself how I am seriously bored out of my mind mostly from the daily routine and school, even on weekends I find that it's a routine. I just would like the weekends to be not so routine based to get out of the routine... I think I shall start cleaning on fridays so that I wouldn't have to worry about anything on the weekends. Then in the weekends I can just totally chillax. I don't know what my purpose to writing this blog is but surprisingly some people read the all the crap I have to say or the stories I tell.

On another note quiet similar or maybe not so... If you didn't know already I make videos on youtube. I deleted a lot of them cause some of them have no value or anything. But anyways I have 301 subscribers currently. Out of those 300 so subscribers I only have like a few viewers I don't like how people subscribe and don't even watch your videos or whatever. If you're not going to watch then don't subscribe do you know what I mean? It really bugs me a lot for people to do that. If I don't like something or I know I'm not going to watch it then I'm not going to subscribe to it!

I feel like I speak to much but nobody ever hears me out... I feel quiet useless at times. But I learned just to push that aside and instead be smarter and more mature in mind than any other person in the room would be. I don't know if that makes sense at all but it makes perfect sense to me. Since people don't really listen I just observe and figure out things on my own and its only when people ask I'll blab and blab and blab and people even get sick of that too so I stop myself knowing that I'm not the most important person in the room. I think that I might be a bit of a egotistic. So you see when I get into a room full of strangers I just tell myself that I'm the coolest person in the room and I probably programmed my head to do or think that people also put importance in me somewhere along the line there.

I'm really just writing this just to get out of doing some homework when really the homework is not that difficult but I'm just getting those diseases that totally make me lazy inside and out. jk. well bye now.

When I thought I loved gravity...

So on this day November 22, 2010 at around 2:15 ish. I stepped off the bus, feeling the wind blow my sleek and soft hair which I deep conditioned with a hot extra virgin olive oil treatment the night before. (which I high recommend for those in need to soften their hair. :] ) Joey even complimented how good my hair look especially since I straightened it which emphasized the health of my hair even more. As we are walking we pass by the DRHorton's realtor's office as usual and today the office workers were exiting as they show some future home owners a few lots they currently have available. The trees were swaying with the wind like waves in the sea. Joey started to ask how my day was and discussed what had happened with his day. We started up the street and crossed to the side walk across. Joey stepped forward up on the sidewalk naturally...

As I stepped up I noticed my foot wasn't going at level that I wanted and then my body was shifting right downward and then while the whole process happened I had screamed which has caught the exiting realtors and the new homeowner's attention... And I find myself on the ground with my knee searing and my ankle in an awkward direction.

As I stood up I noticed myself out of natural reaction shouting, "I'm okay! I'm okay!" and to the realtor's who were staring somewhat blankly giving me that what is this girl smoking? and is she okay? type of look. Just kidding about the first part but, "I'm okay! Don't worry about me! I'm fine!" As I got up with the help of Joey we couldn't help but to laugh it off.

As we continued to walk home laughing and laughing and Joey telling, "See, if I take an eye off you for a second you seriously end up on the ground!" LOL.

Um that's all I wanted to say cause I still have homework which I'm going on and off writing to write this while doing homework at the same time... (Don't follow me kids I'm a bad influence!) HAHA.

-Claire ;p

Very Opinionated Am I

I feel as if I've said enough but enough is never really enough for me. I can truly say that I am outspoken but the problem is that I'm never heard. Never has anyone taken my word... rather taken something from me that would in turn be something positive. It's always the other way around. I wish I could run away from it all and be somewhere that would allow myself to be heard. To be recognized, but... one running away never solves anything. two what would I do when people do listen?

I really could take this opportunity to be like a caterpillar going on a journey to finally stop and root itself to a stem and form a cacoon and hatch within sixteen days (I believe) and have in the process formed wings and become more beautiful inside and out. Well butterflies don't really know that they've been made into this type of simile but it would be nice if they did. <- there goes my crazy imagination.

I've found that there are things of unimportance that people find so important only because they've allowed it to be the center of their lives. Like something they would die for if they ever lost that. Like socially inclined people who just have a bunch of friends and enemies and this environment would be seen at most while you attend school. Really, may I ask is your social life really the most important thing you can possibly give importance to? I just think that it's a waste of time sometimes and it's unnecessary. I'm not saying you shouldn't have friends or whatever but seriously to be "cool" or feel "cool" is just to do your own thing. I guess it takes a person who didn't really give importance to it in the first place to say that.

I really don't like how some people whine and cry and just make something so little be a big deal. I think it's so stupid. Like this scenario:

girl: OMG my mom took away my phone. She is so STUPID.

me: why? *in my head* (she's probably not so stupid)

girl: for no freaking reason!... I was just too tired to do my chores...

me: well my mom is a lot more strict and__

that's where I get cut off cause I guess what I'm saying makes no importance to some stupid brat who won't do their chores.

(I didn't get any sleep last night nor this morning. Everyone is just sooo freaking LOUD as heck.)

What the girl needs to realize is that other people have it harder than them and losing your phone is not the end of the world. MY freaking mother. GOSH.

Well whoever read this the end which is here who read the whole dang thing comment below watermelong. :) (no that's not a typo) ;p

I think I'm a flake

Yeah that's right I was a socially deprived child and there fore I do not know how to keep friends? I mean hey friends are there but I just don't want to go up to them when I need something from them. I know it too and I can feel them being super extra annoyed and that's what pushes them away from me... I'm a flaker that's what's annoying about me! and that sometimes YES I'll admit that I do act like a "princess" but eventually I come to realize it and I stop.

But quiet frankly most of the time I just keep my mouth shut when I'm talking to people cause when I do try to speak I just get cut off by someone and it seems like they don't want to listen. I pretty much think 24/7 and blog because sometimes nobody seems to know how I feel so maybe I should just start telling them...

"Hey check out my blog will you?"

I really need to start posting more of my notes into my blogger account.

Yeah but any who. I have come to realize that I think I may be a flake. I'm a flaky friend as flakey as frosted flakes. I'm telling you. I don't really keep friends unless I got really close with them... even some that I got super close too seem to drift away and I rarely get to talk to them now... I just don't know sometimes. Like either they don't want to talk to me or they've just gotten mad at me or some weird conspiracy I've thought up in my silly mind.

I seriously seriously seriously have a problem this and the fact that all I can do now is blog. Well... not really but I've been into the blogging mood recently and pshyeah. pretty much. Oh wait crap I forgot what I was about to say...

Oh and I think I've grown accustom to almost... hey I said almost to talking to myself! can you believe that?! that's so not normal. LOL.

I need to get out and reconnect with people again. Or just get online write and email and boom start a conversation with a long lost friend from a couple of years ago eh?

well that's all I had to say.

happy saturday.

thank you. and bye bye. :)

Friday Blog: Blood

Oh what a lovely friday the atmosphere is perfectly windy with wisps of clouds gracefully floating by. It's been a stressful week and I'm glad I'm finally home and the weekend is here. I've found a favorite place in my house to just unwind and relax with a view of the top parts of a tree and the vivid blue sky. *sigh of gratifying relief*

I'm donating blood next week on Wednesday, hence the title and I'm excited yet nervous about it. It's for a good cause so a pinch won't hurt if you know you're giving this blood to someone who needs it more than you do. :) This weekend, all weekend actually and a little of next week I get to draw. :D so I'm pretty down for drawing as an assignment for a few of my classes. heck YES. That's an epic WIN.

So I've been putting off driving and all that but I'm actually going to be driving sooner than I thought. doubleplusgood <- you'll know what I'm talking about if you've read 1984. ;) HAHA.

My lolo is coming during the end of next week to visit and to help my mom with starting a business. :)

This past week in Ap Euro we talked about the Illuminati and the Free Masons (as a sidetracked conversation NOT a lesson) which quiet frankly I shouldn't believe, but there are still stuff out there and I pray that it doesn't effect the future like how it's described...

Well that's all I had to really say. :) BYE.

Coldsick? What?

As I drink my homemade cinnamon coffee with a dash of nutmeg which you can substitute with pumpkin spice which I prefer. I glance outside to see that there's no warm colored leafs, no frost glazing the windows. Where are all the comfy yet stuffy layers of clothing? Where are my boots? Where are those soft fuzzy socks that I adore wearing?

I know some people would prefer to be somewhere warm right now but I really don't. I'm kind of homesick. I really do miss the cold. Hey don't call me crazy but I've grown accustom to the frigid, windy, winter weather of Chicago. Along with the smells of warm food which seem to grow stronger in the cold air.

I could care less if I had the sniffles but I really do miss those moments. Moments where we would all cuddle up in front of a big roaring fire and just enjoying each other's company while eating apple and/or pumpkin pie and sipping on warm soothing drinks. Watching the dogs wriggle uncomfortably as they attempt to take off their little coats and sweaters. Then taking family pictures with the funny looking pups.

There's probably only a few places where you can find snow and cold here in Arizona.... that would be the mountains in Flagstaff or Show Low some town like that. The only time it really gets cold now is early in the morning or late at night. The middle of the day the temperature is probably in the 70's something I would enjoy in the summer, like the summers in Chicago.

There's a pool outside which is strangely too cold to swim in because of the lack of a water heater...

There are malls here I guess where you can shop and what not but it just doesn't feel the same as it did in Chicago.

There are people here... a lot of FAKE and all around RUDE people. I'm not saying all of the people here are like that but there surely are a lot.

The atmosphere is... filled with dust. Just so lovely right? Oh and did I mention the smell of dairy farms? Yeah, dairy farms. it smells like a toilet somebody just took a crap in. It stays like that for a few hours and it comes and goes through out the day which quiet frankly is so not an inviting scent.

The point is I don't feel at home at all here.

It's been what? like a year since I've moved here... I'm already sick of it. There are some positive things but there are a lot more negative things.

Well when I'm out of high school and ready to go to college I'll be somewhere with all four seasons to experience throughout the year.

When

When all things seem to be going wrong you look to the one you always look to. But sometimes in certain situation you lie there weeping, crying, there's no one there to help you it seems. But there is... you just have to look and see there's always someone there... always.

When all else fails you look to the one you love and they give you that reassured look that everything will be alright. Everything surely does go alright eventually it takes time to heal and mend what has been broken, to fix the mistakes.

When you fall, you get hurt, a cut, a scrape, you cry. You seek for love and comfort, you will find it. There is hope. If you can handle it, you pick yourself off the ground and wipe off the dirt and keep on walking.

When you lose someone, it's painful. A pain like ripping a part of you, and never getting that part back. But in time that will patch up and heal. Just breath in and breath out, be thankful that you yourself are still alive, well. Yes there will be a scar that remains but it's suppose to be that way.

When you feel like nothing, absolutely nothing is going right, when there is no one to turn to, you keep on failing, everyone around you has disappeared into dust... It is time.

You look into the sky and see the cause and disaster, also a light and glimpse of hope that all this will finally come to an end.

Ordinary Day by CornyGuy

So this is it...
Everything must go on just as usual
Taking our separate paths...
And writing our own stories...

And this is it...
Everything is ordinary just as usual
Though, I wish our separate paths..
Would cross our different stories..

I, sometimes, hate how reality speaks
For sometimes it says something that I hate
I, sometimes, hate how it speaks
For sometimes the truth itself was just an ordinary fate

An ordinary fate for me and nothing unusual
It was so true that being far away from you is usual
An ordinary day for me and nothing's special
It was the distance between you and me that is usual

And just being like that makes it...

An ordinary day...

10.10.10

As I lie here thinking, pondering on thoughts accumulated throughout a short amount of time. I feel tears running down my cheek as if my body is telling me to be sad and cry but for what? What is the use? I am not sad, it's just one of those days where things could be better, you could be in a slightly better mood. You should have slept early last night, instead of eating pho.

I look through moments of the past which I would die just to relive the moment. I look at the people who were in that small hint of memory. I miss them all so dearly. It's been a year and more for some. I'd think that, or would like to think that they'd stop by to say hello but it's okay. I know I probably was, I don't know if I still am a pain in the butt for some people but you know what? Times have changed and I look back and I realized how stupid I was. I'm freaking turning 17 and it feels like a rush of enlightenment has flowed over me. <- okay, maybe that's a little bit too exaggerated but you know what I mean.

It's kind of like a mile stone... well actually 18 is what my miles stone is but w.e. I've been living for almost 17 years and it feels really good to be experiencing life. In general I know that life is hard I think everyone is going through and feeling the challenges life gives you. But there are those times when it seems you are happy and those are the days you live for.

I think that I'm going to name these journal entries or something just with a date as a title you'll know it's my "journal entry". YUPZ.

-Claire

9.29.10

Here's just some random things that I wanted to write down (here when I say random it's just all over the place random):

I'm not a perfect being, I will never be that person who will be the most perfect in every way, in every fiber of my entire body. I am human of course. Humans the name itself probably should be defined as imperfect. I know I can't be perfect no matter what. But all we can do is strive for what is good, and in a way it seems perfect.

I like to take naps. But then again I don't at the same time. Yes because I get to rest from a tiring day from school or etc. No because I'd feel unproductive. But if I'm extremely drowsy I could care less about how unproductive I would feel. My room would in fact, from the lack of my obsession of cleanliness (because I'm more focused on other things like school) be quiet a mess that I would eventually, when the week ends clean.

I'm way to green, most of you probably don't know what I'm talking about but personality quiz wise I'm a green person. I will get really mad inside if I get something wrong I hate being wrong I hate being proved wrong. Yeah I get pretty hard headed but that's just the kind of person I am. You can see with all the kind of classes I'm taking you'd say yeah she's a freaken smart arse. I'd say why yes thank you.

Other than neglecting the cleanliness of my room I forget to exercise and I need to exercise or else I'll feel really unfit. Exercising makes endorphins which is a chemical in your body that makes you happy. Exercising makes me happy indeed.

Yeah that's it I just forgot how to spell the word "Exercise" so that means I'm pretty freaken tired. I have to much stuff to do + school it just wears me out.

Bye

Contentedness

As I sit here in my chair feeling unsatisfied and glum. The feeling of not being content is consuming other feelings I'd rather wish to feel. It's been a stressful week with little sleep and a workload of homework being brought home each day from school. Or I'm just being moody again, I don't know, I'm not sure really. Take your pick. Also the fact that I could sometimes be negligent of my overall health and the ability to care about how I look each day and coming home to look at yourself in the mirror and say,"Wow did I really walk around school looking like that? ". My self esteem is at a pretty healthy level, it's just I get really emotional sometimes. But hey who doesn't have those moments right?

So other than my current mood, this guy from ASU told us that going to selective colleges you'd have to clean up everything you have online... now... alright... well... that kind of sucks... Is this what I get for making too much profiles and still in my mind saying oh yeah HARVARD all the way baby. Yeah... I'm so freaken smart. <- sarcasm right there. (I was about to say thur to replace there but that would be grammatically incorrect wouldn't it?) I'd just think they'd think of something to hack into my very private profile of only which friends are granted access to view... idk how'd they'd do that but w.e. I'm pretty much more than a quarter over but less than half finished with H.S. But I'm already thinking about all this... College and stuff, they say it's never too early. That I could start building my successful future now. So I guess I'll give myself a kick in the arse and move my butt to the career center and ask about free crap. yeah.

When I thought I was in a blogging mood... I don't even feel like writing right now, maybe cause I'm watching hellcats? haha. Bye.

Oh those days...

you know exactly what I'm talking about. Those days where it seems so nice but you feel so much of the opposite of that? Yeah having those moments where things should be going great but in reality it really isn't so great. I get home sick. They say home is where the heart is... Where is my home? A place where I feel most comfortable. I seriously feel like a gypsy or a nomad sometimes. I was born in Cebu but where I lived is no where near the most comfortable. I mean sure I was content as a child that knew no better. When I look back I realized how horrible of a condition my old home use to be. Then when I came to Illinois I had a normalized home where I can feel safe secure and a place I can probably call my home. But that had to be taken away and the misery starts again. Without a home but an apartment. Probably a lot worse than what I had in Cebu. I seriously hated it there. Then out of nowhere I suddenly find myself in Arizona. The middle of the freaking dessert. wtf am I suppose to do in the middle of no where? There's a reason why it's called the middle of nowhere cause I know nothing here I know no one here. I miss Chicago, not because I probably felt most at home there... it's because of the people I know that I left there. Still they wonder why and I tell them, life led me here. (actually my mom but w.e.) When people have had enough or are not content with their current situation they find a way to get out of it... Can we just not be content with the snow? It's really not that bad. I miss the fall and when it's spring it rains. The air is clean and the summers are a perfect temperature. (Chicago) Unlike here in this filthy muck they call Arizona. Where the air is dirty, there only seems to be two seasons. I really can only enjoy it here when it's not hot. I really like the winters here cause it's the only way I get to feel how it feels like in chicago on a normal day... Now where is this heart you may ask? Oh my heart is in Chicago alright. He knows who he is. *cough *cough *babe *cough *cough. Excuse me. haha. But home wise? I'm not quiet sure... I will forever more be a gypsy. No where to really settle in...

People who treat you like dirt

So what I don't understand is why people need to do that... They need to have this certain attitude. This certain auro that is somewhat intimidating but at the same time it's just quiet frankly rude. Just because of your position in life doesn't mean you need to lose respect for others that aren't exactly in the same position as you are. You don't need to treat people like dirt. Okay you think your attitude is "cool"... well it's not. Cause why would you want to behave in that manner when people haven't done you wrong! Okay you say you've changed because of what's happening to you or of your position, well doesn't mean you take away the respect or let all hell break loose! You don't need to act like the stereotypical personality that people perceive you to act cause nobody likes that. So please if you may just cut the crap and just be yourself and not be such a douche bag. I mean come on dude for real? Football player on Varsity and JV. Good for you, I'm happy for you! But does not mean you treat people like GARBAGE! what the heck is your problem anyways? Okay you lost your game but don't let it out on other people who's done nothing wrong to you. *sigh* I just wanted to get that off my chest cause people are just or can be really really ignorantly stupid.

The "Ideal Perfection" Image

People. In their right minds, are not expected to be perfect. So why does perfection to be strived for? This goes for the males and the females out there. Some people just strive for that perfection that is not there, that they sometimes forget who they really are, what they really are. Perfectionism in the human race is has not been reached nor will it ever be reached. It is de facto. Media and Advertisement depicting the image of "perfection" is not a reality. Just because there are models that are skinny and models that look "flawless". Those are all a mirage done so that you will believe that you need things that you don't actually need. Like for example make-up. Yeah I admit to wearing make-up. But really ask yourself... Do you really need it? I've slowly become to realize... no one really needs it. It's not a necessity. Even its name "make-up" refers to making up something... or more accurately making up an image that is not actually true. Yeah I can understand theatre or artistic make-up and just wanting to enhance your natural beauty (which everyone has no doubt) but caking on make-up that's not on a special occasion or if you have clear skin is a big big big no no. I have so much respect for those girls who don't wear make-up or who don't need to wear make-up and continue to not wear make-up. These girls are beautiful. But more so...

Inner beauty consists of personality, attitude, and your overall persona, or how you choose to display yourself to the world and environment around you. Those people that just give off this natural aura of goodness and well being. Kind and a welcoming type of personality. That's really something. You don't show personality on your face... though you make express emotions and body language but it's what on the inside that really counts. Mind you that I have not always been nice. I have my mean moments and moments where I felt stupid for saying things I knew I probably shouldn't have. But it's alright. Everyone will make mistakes even how it reflects you as a person. But just know that you forgive and you forget... (not completely but just set it aside in a shed in your memories that should be forgotten but not quiet yet disposed of at the moment type of way... haha)

Writing this blog is like so riveting and like a breath of fresh air. You know I've never seen an advertisement or media depicting this sort of demeanor. I would like to see one do so... without trying to sell me anything in particular. haha.

I hoped you liked this and this kind of feels different from my regular blogs.

I love you my readers... who ever you maybe. :)

-Claire.

Title: The "Ideal Perfection" Image